Coloring fun for the little ones?

Alright, so I woke up from napping on the couch. I wasn't aware my son came home. And I was like,"Omg, ): I'm still tired." so I go back to sleep. When i wakeup I'm in my basement naked. And my ballsack is colored blue. My son is in the corner eating crayola crayons. He's also masturbating. I don't know what to do know. I'm just so, ): I'm still in the basement naked. He's, right now, eating cereal in the bathroom. He usually takes hugeshits while eating cereal. I don't know what to do. Maybe we should watch Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron and play Yazhtzee while we suck eachother off. He left a ransom note or something, it says,"Mom/dad, I'm running away." omgwtf, ):