Saturday, March 26, 2011

Should I go back to Pharmacy school?

I started Pharmacy school last Aug, and a month before the semester ended, I had an anxiety attack. I never had one before. Here is what it feels like for those who have never had the joy of having one before. Think about a time that was the scariest moment in your life. Like the feeling you had when thought your child is missing, or you heard for the first time you heard a family member was in a bad wreck. Take that feeling that is suppose to last a few moments and expand it to last weeks. It was awful. I didn't stop throwing up every morning for weeks. The nightmares were the worst. Then to top it all off, I felt completely disconnected from the entire world. All I could do was sit on the couch and stare off into space. It was numbing. The school said I could come back in the fall, since I wasn't failing. I think about it now, and realized that I just got scared of failing. The whole thing kinda snowballed out of control. I started thinking I was going to fail,my wife was going to leave me, and my house would go into foreclosure. Fast forward to today. I know those thoughts were not logical. However, now I have a job the pays the bills, but I have tests every year that I have to pass or I lose that job. So question is, do I stay at my job or go back to pharmacy school and risk another attack.

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